hell’s paving stones

(image is of a Darth Vader Battle Buddy, currently an ebay auction item.)

PARENTS! Uncertain of whether or not to take your young ones along to a screening of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith? Worried about the effect that uncompromising portrayals of violence and vengeance may have on your golden-haired children? Studies have been inconclusive about the risk of lasting psychological effects when exposing young minds to graphically unsettling material. Worst case scenarios are legion: 20 years hence, do you wish to be gagged and trussed up, suspended from the beams in your attic by your brooding only son? If you’d like some kind of insight into the sort of personality that George Lucas imposes on the malleable brains of today’s youth, then take your guide from the following conversation between two adult Star Wars fans.

But first a bit of context. This is an exchange between HPS and our good friend Scott. Scott’s pop cultural knowledge is next to none. Watch this space: he’s got a project going. This specific conversation took place the night before we went to see Revenge of the Sith. Here’s an excerpt where we discuss the ill-fated “Star Wars Holiday Special” that aired on television in 1977:

Scott says:

i can’t believe Bea Arthur was in it.

Vincent says:

She was robbed of her born role as Aunt Beru in Ep IV, that’s why.

Scott says:

every time i hear the name “Aunt Beru”, it always reminds me of this article i read about comic conventions where someone asked Phil Brown (Uncle Owen) if Aunt Beru lactated blue milk.

---

Conversation in full:

Scott - Gum and nuts. Together at last. says:

all set for tomorrow?

Vincent says:

I did the MX star wars quiz on the train home tonight. Score: 24/25. They screwed me on a trick question.

Scott says:

what was the trick question?

Vincent says:

When did Boba Fett make his first appearance?

Vincent says:

a) on the deck of the Executor with Darth Vader in The Empire Strikes Back

Vincent says:

b) hanging out with Jabba the Hutt in a hangar on Tatooine in Episode IV.

Vincent says:

c) chatting up some alien chicks in Return of the Jedi.

Vincent says:

d) In a short film entitled “the Star Wars summer holiday special”

Vincent says:

what would you have said?

Scott says:

out of those four options?

Vincent says:

yes. no others.

Scott says:

given my limited knowledge, i’m not sure, but i’m going to go with (a )?

Vincent says:

That’s a pretty good answer. It all depends on how you define “first”

Vincent says:

If you mean, “the first in terms of what was seen first by audiences in chronological earth time, you would go with that answer.

Vincent says:

Was that your reasoning?

Scott says:

well, yeah.

Scott says:

first time i can remember seeing him in the original trilogy, anyway.

Vincent says:

Exactly. And here we come to the next point. If you look at the special edition trilogy, then going by what was first in the chronology of the story line, then b) and c) pop into existence. b), in this case, would be the winner.

Vincent says:

would you think that was a legitimate answer?

Scott says:

hang on, where does he pop up in Ep4?

Scott says:

during the Han/Jabba scene?

Vincent says:

In Spec. Ed IV, yeah, he’s in the background of the tatooine hangar in that scene.

Scott says:

that’s pretty weak.

Vincent says:

that answer?

Scott says:

so the answer was (b ) then?

Vincent says:

Consider all angles of perception, a fanboy must.

Scott says:

but was the answer (b )?

Vincent says:

I regret to inform you, my friend, that the answer was in fact, d).

Scott says:

what?!

Vincent says:

ladies, and gentlemen, I give you:

Vincent says:

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

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This entry was posted on Saturday, May 21st, 2005 at 5:12 pm and is filed under The people's opiate, Dialogues. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.